Grad School Blues

When I made the (rather last-minute) decision in the spring of my junior year of college to apply for an MA in English at the same college I attended for my BA, it felt right. I was excited to get to prove (to myself? to my well-loved professors?) that I wasn't just like every other English major, that this was my thing, my calling in life -- to stay in college forever and keep analyzing literature and writing papers. This was what I was meant to do. No, I wasn't going to be a teacher, like everyone assumed when I said I was an English major; I was meant for bigger things than just that. I was getting my MA, maybe even my PhD, eventually, and I would be a professor. I would go on to be one of the people I spent my college career admiring.

Well, not exactly. Now that I'm actually in grad school I realize how wrong I was about so much. (First and foremost, the idea that teaching was somehow a "smaller" or "lesser" objective for me than being a professor. My mom's a teacher, I come from an extended family of teachers, and I would never presume to be better than a job like that. But for some reason, I had the idea that it wasn't for me. Maybe now it is. Who knows?)

Mostly I was wrong about myself. And that's a really hard thing to try and reconcile -- the student I thought I was with the student I actually am. I was really good at what I was doing in undergrad, but I just feel unfulfilled in grad school. Maybe it's because I'm at a strange in-between, since I'm completing my MA at the same school I attended for undergrad. I'm not doing anything new, but the classes are so different. I'm not meeting any new people, but so many of my old friends have graduated and moved away.

I'm also in a strange place because it's just an MA program, not a PhD or anything. Sometimes it feels like I'm stuck between wanting to go for my PhD, wanting to be surrounded by people who live and breathe literature, and then feeling like an infant student next to fully employed teachers who are getting their MA to enhance the careers they already have. I don't even know what kind of career I want, let alone what's available to me as an option. I feel constantly torn between not feeling good enough and taking myself too seriously. Where's the balance?

Working a GA position also leaves me feeling like there's no time for fun, like I'm spending all my time doing homework, when I know that's not true, because I'm usually so stressed or depressed that I'm lying in bed binge-watching Brooklyn 99 and getting behind on my work, which makes me more stressed.

Luckily we're about 22 days away from winter break, so I know I'll get through these last few stressful weeks of the semester and have nearly a month off to recharge. But I can't help feeling like my insecurities about job hunting led me to pursue a degree I don't really want or need. My program is so short (I'll be done in May) that I know I need to just stick it out, but I've definitely thought about quitting multiple times this year, feeling like grad school just isn't for me.

52 Art Challenge 2016

I've successfully completed a second round of my 52 Art Challenge! I know it's only Monday, but I wanted to get an early start on completing some art because I know my schedule is going to get really crazy soon. For the second week of 2016, I decided to try something I'd never done before - watercolor painting!

I've probably painted with Crayola watercolors before as a child, but I had never tried freehand styles until today. I've been meaning to try watercolors for a while and I was thrilled with how fun they were! Obviously I can use a lot of practice before my pictures start looking decent, but I was overall impressed with how I fared today. (My favorite picture is the one above, the title of my favorite Radiohead song).

A quote from the song "Midnight Radio" from the musical Hedwig and the Angry Inch

Even though I mostly jumped in blind on this project, I eventually ended up on these pages and found their instructions to be super helpful as a beginner! Although I'm sure a good technique takes loads of practice to master, I think there's a lot of freedom in watercolor painting that you can't enjoy in other mediums. Of course, I'm a complete novice, so what do I know? Regardless, painting today was really relaxing, and I can see myself absolutely covering the walls of my dorm with my favorite song lyrics and literary quotes.

Are you a fan of watercolor painting? What sort of techniques do you use?

New Year's Resolutions: Spare Change

Today I was browsing some post-New Year's Eve articles online when I came across WhoWhatWear's great article responding to New Year's resolutions. Their "5 Great Alternatives" to New Year's resolutions are all worth reading over and even doing, but what really caught my attention was number 5: "Highlight the things you do well - not what you need to change."

The concept is so simple, but it really took me by surprise to read these words.  Our consumerist culture so persistently pushes improvement on us to persuade us to buy more: Buy this face cream because you need to look younger, buy this protein supplement because you need to lose weight, buy this gadget because you need to be faster/smarter/more up-to-date than all your friends. There's a reason gym membership spikes so highly in January - we're all convinced we need to lose weight and be different, better versions of ourselves.

But have we ever considered we might be okay the way we are? Face it - we made it through 2015 into a new year. Whatever we did previously carried us through twelve months of challenges; isn't that something to celebrate? Instead of ticking off all the countless traits I'd like to change about myself, here are a few traits I'm not going to change and instead will try and view as positive assets:

1. My appreciation for makeup

When I started getting into makeup vloggers on YouTube, I began reflecting my own use of cosmetics. Was I doing it to hide behind a mask? Did it make me superficial if I wore red lipstick to class? There's so much discourse surrounding beauty in general; if you wear too much makeup, you're shallow, but if you don't wear any, you don't take care of yourself. Girls who don't wear any makeup can be mocked, but at the same time, they can be put on a pedestal above girls who waste time on such frivolities as eyelash curlers and lip liner. 

Basically, women can't win (what else is new?) and I decided this year, I'm not going to alter my makeup routine to fit anyone else's idea of myself. Wearing lipstick doesn't make me any less dedicated to my schoolwork, and skipping eyeliner for a day doesn't make me any less beautiful. There are more important things to worry about than who is judging me based on the amount of paint I have on my face. 

2. What my body is capable of

Yes, I'm guilty of scrutinizing my body in the mirror, especially after a season of Christmas cookies and party foods. But I started going to the gym seriously this month, and even though I haven't worked out steadily this past semester, I'm easily able to complete three miles on the elliptical (and more, when I want). Instead of complaining about the pounds I know I could afford to lose, I'm going to be proud of the way my body carries me to all my activities and how far I know it will take me in 2016.

3. My downtime 

I'm the master of not making plans in order to spend time reading, watching movies, or just generally vegging out on the weekends and over breaks. Usually, I feel guilty when I say no to hanging out with big groups of people or doing fun activities, but at twenty-one years old, I have to be honest about who I am. I like my downtime! I really, really love spending time alone doing things that make me happy and comfort me. I don't need to be racing from event to event - I do that enough during the school year. Instead of feeling like I constantly need to keep up with the Joneses, I'm going to appreciate the time I get to myself and my onesie, because as I enter the second semester of my junior year and my first capstone class, I know moments to myself are going to be few and far between.

What are your non-resolutions for this year? What are you going to learn to appreciate instead of trying to change? 

52 Art Challenge 2016

I'm definitely right-sided when it comes to brain functioning: I'm into dance, music, poetry, theatre, art, and all things creative. I've tried just about every artistic hobby one can pursue, but I always seem to be a jack-of-all-trades, master-of-none sort of girl.

That's why this year, I've committed myself to what I'm calling the 52 Art Challenge! My idea is not unique and I'm sure there are myriad other bloggers who are doing similar (or even more daunting 365) challenges and projects. The main idea is that for 2016, I'm going to complete one artistic project every week so that by the end of the year, I will have completed 52 works of art!

It's so easy to get wrapped up in schoolwork and other obligations and entirely forget about the things that make you smile when you're stressed. Hopefully, my 52 art challenge will allow me to practice a few skills and gain some peace whenever things get too hectic in the upcoming year. My first piece of art that I've completed is a galaxy-themed canvas painting with a modified Harry Potter quote (one spoken by the ineffable Ginny Weasley):

While I still need some work in regards to lettering when I paint, I'm really thrilled with the way the background came out! I was terrible at painting when I first started crafting last spring, so I've already come a long way. Hopefully over the course of 2016 I can improve my lettering skills, because I love hanging canvases with quotes around my room.

I'm working on another Kate Spade-inspired piece of wall art at the moment, but I think for next week's art project I'll try something musical. What's your favorite art medium? Do you have any resolutions or goals that will take you all year to pursue? If so, best of luck!

New Year's 2016

Last year Catherine, one of my best friends from my hometown, threw a glamorous New Year's Eve party complete with a photo corner, a formal dress code, and lots of glitter. This year, her New Year's Eve bash was a little more low-key and less formal, but that didn't stop me from picking out a sequined LBD and going all out for the occasion.

My beautiful best friend, Tara, being photogenic as usual 

 My red eyes are severe in these photos due to my iPhone's flash

 A candid picture of me singing "shut up and dance with me!"

 My favorite picture of the night :)

And a close second favorite with a lovely human being 

Our party's stunning host, Catherine!

My friends and I were discussing this night how to some people, New Year's Eve is just another day, but to us, it's a vital rite of passage each year. We feel it's absolutely essential to recognize and celebrate a holiday that gives cause to reflect on a beautiful past year and hope for an even grander one to come. It's the perfect holiday for retrospective, sentimental people like myself. Every December 31st, I feel like I'm holding a year-long, world-wide collective breath that I can finally release at midnight, throwing up all my fears, regrets, anticipations, and faith with confetti. Plus, it's never wrong to give yourself a reason to dress up.

Now Playing: Slow it Down

I'm a true music fan, endlessly searching for new artists on Spotify and constantly returning to old favorites. For me, music is the best way of calming down and reminding myself to breathe, so a lot of my favorite music includes slow, contemplative tunes with beautiful lyrics and soft melodies.

Here's a playlist with a title appropriately inspired by one of the songs I've included, Slow it Down. When you need to calm down, take a nap, or simply breathe, turn to this playlist for a selection of these simple, soothing songs.

The following playlist can be found here on Spotify. Happy listening!

A Deep, Introspective Breath: Meditation for Beginners

After finishing the second week of my junior year of college, I feel myself needing to take a deep, slow breath and collect myself. Finding a balance between spending time with my friends, attending all events for my sorority, and completing all my homework has been more of a challenge than I predicted for the year. Classes are harder and there are more and more opportunities for social situations, making it really hard to keep things in perspective and remind myself that I am, first and foremost, at college for an education.

Basically, I'm stressed, questioning my commitment to my major, worrying about what I'm going to do after college...

photo source

Enter my new best friend: meditation. I've meditated before, in high school gym classes and a spirituality course I took last semester. But never have I actually gotten around to just meditating, just for myself, just because I needed to recenter my being. This is the first year I've been truly mindful of my mental and spiritual health, taking the time to heal myself through meditation.

Let me tell you, it feels great.

It helps that one of my best friends and housemates, Jules, is taking a class on the mind-body connection this year and has to meditate for homework, so I've been joining her for that. But more and more often I've been taking time to find some self-guided meditations on YouTube and just be mindful of my being for a few minutes.

It's helpful to have a starting point if you're meditating for the first time, so here are some tips that I've found helpful (thanks, Jules!) as I begin my meditation journey.

1. Turn the lights low - maybe light a candle or set the lamps in your room to a low level. No one can be relaxed under the harsh glare of fluorescent lightbulbs.

2. Get comfortable - sit on a yoga mat, folded towel, or blanket, if you'd like. Cross your legs pretzel-style, or put the bottoms of your feet together in butterfly pose. Let your hands cup or lace naturally; they'll usually settle in your lap or rest lightly on your feet.

3. Find a great guided meditation, if you're uncertain of exactly where to begin. These two videos are fantastic, especially as a beginner.

4. Focus on your breathing! It's so important. Mindfulness begins with you acknowledging the power of your breath, the way it fills your lungs and travels throughout your body. Don't worry about blocking out stressful thoughts; just start by thinking about how you breathe.

And that's all there is to it!

Please Stand By!

This blog was something I started on a whim because I'd always dreamed of being a fashion blogger, but somewhere along the line I lost sight of 1. content, 2. timing, and 3. motivation. I'd love to completely reboot this blog and make it the best it can be! I don't want to delete the posts I've previously written because I think it's good to have something to look back on as my writing improves. But I really would like to become a more active blogger in the future.

So now it's time for an upgrade!

Book Club: Memoir Edition

As an English major, I have very little time during the school year to read for pleasure. (Right now The Saga of the Volsungs and Gulliver's Travels are staring guiltily at me. Every spare moment of my day, I feel like I should be reading for class.)

Still, I've been trying to make extra time this year to read more. I've recently finished two books that I'm absolutely obsessed with. Funnily enough, they're both memoirs. Normally I'm more of a novel person, but these memoirs were both amazing, for completely different reasons.

Mindy Kaling is Hollywood's new "It Girl," and for good reason. She is brilliant, sharp-witted, and stylish; she's a talented writer and actor, in addition to being gorgeous and hilarious. Basically, I want her as my BFF. Who doesn't? She seems like she has it all.

Her memoir, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns), was the best book I've read in a long time. Nearly every page, I was stopping to read a line out loud to my roommate. Kaling is just so funny. I'm not exaggerating when I say the book had me laughing out loud page after page. Plus, unlike other celebrities, Mindy Kaling just seems easy to relate to. This is a really fast read, so if you have any spare time in your life I really recommend this book.

The second memoir I read is completely different. Wild, by Cheryl Strayed, is the tale of remarkable courage and strength in the face of staggering difficulties. Cheryl lost her mother to cancer very suddenly at a young age and suddenly, her world was flipped upside down. Her marriage crumpled, her siblings scattered, and she turned to drugs for escape. Just when she thought she hit rock bottom, she discovered the Pacific Crest Trail, a hiking trail stretching from Mexico north all along the west coast. She decides, abruptly and with no true hiking experience, to hike the PCT alone in an attempt to regain control of her life

Losing and finding herself along the trail, Cheryl perseveres through sweltering heat, blankets of snow, blisters and torn toenails and a backpack so huge she names it "Monster." Facing the elements, Cheryl struggles in the wild, but ultimately learns to adapt to the great outdoors. She meets fellow hikers on the trail, but it's in her moments of solitude that she finds her greatest strength.

I'm not an outdoorsy person by any means, but this book makes me want to scale a mountain and lose myself in the wilderness. It's inspirational in ways I can't even describe and makes me feel like, if Cheryl succeeded on her own in the wild, I can do anything. I definitely recommend reading this emotional and motivational memoir! What sort of books have you been reading lately?

My Favorite Fashion Bloggers

I love fashion. Shopping, browsing Pinterest, and reading fashion blogs are some of my favorite hobbies. Sometimes my size intimidates me and keeps me from wearing what I'd really like to wear (I'm not plus-sized, but I'm not model-skinny, either. I'm that ambiguous gray area that's really hard to dress because I don't fall to either extreme). Still, I think fashion and style are so much fun to play around with!

Back in high school, I discovered the magical world of fashion blogging, and since then my interest has only grown. Here are some of the sites that help inspire me and my own personal style:

1. Delightfully Tacky: I've been obsessed with Elizabeth's blog probably since I discovered what blogging was. In my early high school years, when I was deep in the throes of my hippie phase, Elizabeth's earthy, bohemian style was so refreshing to see amid all the preppy style blogs I saw. She keeps it so real in all her posts and makes me want to move to Washington or hop in an RV and travel the country. (Plus I really want her hair.)

2. Unfancy: I'm really, really bad at minimalism. If I had to name a deadly sin for myself it would probably be gluttony. But Caroline's blog makes me want to streamline not only my wardrobe, but all the excessive parts of my life. Plus her capsule wardrobe means her style is clean, classic, and easily recreated.

3. Kendi Everyday: Kendi's style is truly enviable, but what really made me fall in love with her blog was her easygoing tone and her sense of humor. I didn't feel like I was reading a blog; I truly felt like I was just having a conversation with her. That's exactly the kind of tone I aim for in my writing - never stuffy, never preachy, just casual and fun. (She's also my inspiration for colorful outfits.)

4. What Would a Nerd Wear: Sadly, this blog is no longer active, and hasn't been for a few years now. Still, it was my favorite blog for the longest time. Tania, a self-proclaimed nerd, felt like kin to me somehow. A fellow book-lover, her outfits never felt too overdone or stuffy. As a high school student reading her blog, I could easily imitate her sense of style.

I love fashion blogging because no two fashion bloggers, or their styles, are alike. The four women above all have very different styles, but they always look amazing because they exude confidence in their photos. Are you inspired by any particular fashion bloggers?

Inspiration Strikes

On Saturday, I went home for the first time all semester to spend the night at my house, get some work done, and pick up a few things I needed from home. I've really started to love driving on the highway, especially by myself, and I was in such a good mood driving back to campus on Sunday. There was no traffic on the roads, I was listening to Vance Joy, it was snowing out, and I was suddenly struck by the idea that I needed to do something with my life.

This is nothing new. I have this sort of epiphany - this sudden sense of wanderlust, this ambitious desire to plunge headfirst into something - pretty often. But for some reason, cruising down Route 1 in the snow singing along to Riptide, the urge to change my life suddenly felt really, really real. Even though the weather was less than ideal, the fact that it was March 1 really made me think of spring and upcoming adventures in store for me as the weather gets warmer. It inspired me to make a post of, well, things that are currently inspiring me, to keep my spirits up until the warm weather gets here for good! 

This is probably the best picture I've ever taken

The High Line: I can't wait to get back to New York City over spring break. The last few city trips I've taken have been freezing, so I'm looking forward to sunny, mild weather. Wandering through Chelsea Market and strolling along the High Line are some of my favorite city activities when it's nice out. How amazing is that artwork up there? 

Archaic Torso of Apollo: This is one of those poems that always gets me right in the feels, even though every time I read it I'm not entirely sure I've grasped its meaning. Rainer Maria Rilke is a literary genius, though, and this is one of my favorite poems. The final line just gets me every time I read it: You must change your life. 

'

Wild: I am so into Cheryl Strayed's memoir. It's a remarkably inspirational tale of one woman's impulsive decision to hike the Pacific Crest Trail, alone, with no previous hiking experience. Her courage, not only on the trail, but in all facets of her life, is truly uplifting. This book makes me want to drive off to some mountain somewhere in the hopes of rediscovering myself. 

Hopefully I'll be able to direct some of this blind ambition toward accomplishing something important this spring! What's currently inspiring you?

New York, New York

Les Miserables; Dom and I brave the cold at Rockefeller Center

My friend Dominick has inadvertently become my unofficial Broadway buddy. In November, he and I went into the city and rushed tickets for A Gentleman's Guide to Love and Murder, which was hilarious and had an amazing soundtrack, not to mention an exceptionally talented cast. We had such luck getting tickets then (plus getting autographs and a picture with one of the lead actors after the show) that this Saturday, we decided to try our luck again.

Dom strikes his best 24601 pose; I pose with the exquisitely talented Ramin Karimloo

We had our sights set on Cabaret, because Alan Cumming and Emma Stone make a duo you just can't refuse. Unfortunately, they weren't selling rush tickets that day, so after hustling from Penn Station to Studio 54, we had to turn and run back nine blocks to the theater where Les Miserables plays. We luckily got tickets, even though we had to sit on literal opposite sides of the theater from each other. 

I think I have to move Les Miz up the ranks of my top favorite musicals. Seeing it performed live was beautiful. Ramin Karimloo, as Jean Valjean, was everything I had heard he would be and more. Dom claimed that the rendition of "Bring Him Home" that we heard was the best version he had ever heard, and I agree - the applause for that song went on for ages. And I cried during the final scene. I couldn't help it. The beautiful final message of Les Mis - "To love another person is to see the face of God" - always chokes me up, and the actors had me so invested in the characters they played that I couldn't stop the tears from coming. One of my friends insisted that your perception of Les Miz depends entirely on the cast you see, and I have to say the entire cast I saw was truly exceptional. 

Dom has only been to the city a few times, where I've spent more days there than I can count, but I always have a blast when we go. We get cookies at Schmackary's bakery (delicious!) and hit the touristy sites like Times Square and Rockefeller Center. (Dom has a particular soft spot for the arbitrary Matt Lauer cardboard cutout in the NBC Studio store.)  

Visiting the city always gets me in a New York state of mind. When I go with my friends, we stick to familiar areas, but when I visit my brother, we venture into areas of the city I don't frequent. I'll be so sad when my brother and his girlfriend move out of the city this summer so my brother can attend med school, because I'll be losing my city tour guide! Still, I know I'll live in the city at some point in my life - it's been a dream of mine for years. So, until then, here's to my first city trip of 2015 and here's to many more! 

2015 - The Year of Words

I decided long before New Year's Eve that 2015 was going to be an important year for me - the year of words. Now, this isn't much of a shock to people who know me - I had my first article published in my town's newspaper when I was in third grade, I won the English department award when graduating high school, I'm an English major, and I own no less than four literary-themed shirts. Of course 2015 is going to be a year of words - every year in my life is a year of words.

But 2015 is going to be the year I focus on words, and making words count:

• I made it a goal to write every day
• While interning at CollegeFashion.net, I'll be writing a lot anyway!
• I've determined to settle for nothing less than high A's on all my papers this semester (not that I've ever slacked off in class, but I want a 4.0 GPA, not the 3.9 I got this semester)
• I've decided to minor in marketing, which will hopefully help me learn how to market my words...or something.

But even more importantly than writing words, 2015 is going to be the year of me reading words. Last year, I was horrified when Alyssa asked me if I had read any good books lately, and my answer was a shocking no! I had gotten so caught up in reading books for my classes, I hadn't read for fun all year! Alyssa's most recent post on her 2015 Reading Goals, not to mention the following picture I've found on Pinterest, has inspired me to read much more this year and remember to read more than just the assigned reading for my English classes. 

This list is pretty ambitious, but if you're up for the challenge, head over to PopSugar and download a copy of the 2015 Reading Challenge! Whether you have a set number of books you'd like to read this year or you're just hoping to pick up one new book, good luck and happy reading! 

A Very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

I had the most wonderful Christmas Eve, Christmas, and New Year's celebrations this year! Nothing but wonderful relaxing time spent with my closest family and friends. I wanted to share some of my favorite pictures from the amazing holiday season!

On Christmas Eve, my parents, my brother Chris, and I attempted to take a selfie on my mom's iPad, then headed over to my grandparents' house for our Christmas Eve tradition: Polish 7-fish Christmas Eve dinner (complete with lots of pierogis), then Christmas cookies and present opening, followed by my brother and I seeing who can count the most Christmas lights on the drive home. (We've been playing this game probably since I was old enough to count, and we used to use this opportunity to search the skies for Santa! Even though we're in our twenties now, we still get competitive.)

On Christmas Day, my brother and I woke up extremely early to open presents with our parents and enjoy a Christmas breakfast before cooking and getting ready to go to my aunt and uncle's house. Another tradition, Christmas day is always filled with aunts, uncles, my other grandparents, and as many cousins as we can wrangle from our various spots in the country. Above, I have a great picture of my mom and all her siblings (sans one sister of hers who lives in Florida) and my grandparents! I don't have a copy of the annual cousin picture (which we all gripe about every year), but I have a picture of me and all my girl cousins (except the oldest, who lives in Missouri). I'm the baby of the family and I'm already 20 years old, so it's really cool to get together every year and see what everyone is up to. Plus, there's tons of food and dessert, which makes this annual gathering even better. (My uncle is a fantastic cook.)

Finally, there's New Year's Eve! My friend Catherine (on the left) threw a huge fancy dress party at her house with all her closest friends from college and our hometown. I got to see all my friends from high school I hadn't seen in years, and it was amazing to spend the night with my best friends: Catherine, Tara, who goes to school in North Carolina, and Joanna (on the right in the bow) who goes to school in Alabama. I couldn't have asked for a more fun night or to spend it with better people. These girls are truly my best friends and I was thrilled to ring in the new year with all of them.

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season, no matter what holidays you celebrated!

Decking the Halls

Finals are over! Christmas is here! I'm thrilled. I love everything about this time of year - the crowded malls, the bursts of red and green glitter and lights everywhere, the scents of peppermint and gingerbread, the air cold with the promise of snow, and the feeling that everyone wants to be a little bit better, this time of year. A little cheerier, a little kinder, a little warmer.

I was super excited to decorate the tree this year, since last year I was so sick with mono I could barely take part in any yuletide festivities before I'd need to go lie down for a nap. But this year I insisted on watching Elf and eating Christmas cookies while we trimmed the tree (just me and my parents, as my brother currently lives in New York).

My Christmas tree has a definite theme - New York Giants ornaments for my dad, ballet ornaments for me, and lots of Disney ornaments, since my whole family loves Disney! Of course, we all have our favorites, like the Pinocchio ornament from one of our trips to Disney (my mom adores Pinocchio!) and the Power Rangers ornament that's been on our tree since my brother way a toddler.

Also, this skirt. Can I just talk about how I've been looking for a nice plaid skirt since August? I wanted something I could style through the fall and winter, something without pleats so I didn't look like a schoolgirl, and something in a more muted color so I didn't look like I was trying to revive the red plaid, Avril Lavigne-esque look of the early 2000s. Then I found this gem at Forever 21, took the plunge, brought it to the register, and found out it was on sale for $13. Crazy, right? I've already planned so many outfits with it in my head, and I love this wintery look (even though today I had to add tights for warmth!).

Are you super excited for the holidays, like I am?

Happy Birthday, Miss Swift!

This is a picture of me headed to my second Taylor Swift concert - only 16 years old here!

I remember when I was in middle school, headed to my first Taylor Swift concert. I was wearing a sundress, cowgirl boots and, of course, I had painted a 13 on the back of my hand. Every true Taylor Swift fan knows, of course, that 13 is her lucky number! Today, on her birthday, December 13, I want to celebrate my reentry into the Taylor Swift fandom by wishing the superstar a happy birthday and counting down my top ten favorite Taylor songs (you know, the ones that don't always get music videos or make it to the radio - the underdog songs).

10. Crazier (The Hannah Montana Movie Soundtrack) - Because it was such a pretty, sweet, slow song and I adored the Hannah Montana movie on its own, but throw in my favorite singer making a cameo as herself? I was hooked.

9. Clean (1989) - Because there's nothing quite as difficult or refreshing as getting over your ex, and Taylor proudly celebrates that in this pretty melody.
8. Sparks Fly (Speak Now) - Because when I was a sophomore in high school, my crush had green eyes, and that made this catchy, upbeat song super relatable.
7. I'd Lie (Taylor Swift) - Because this was the first song I'd heard by Taylor and, subsequently, the first song I taught myself to play on the guitar (back when I knew I was going to be the next Taylor Swift).
6. Change (Fearless) - Because it's often forgotten in the wake of her countless hits, but nonetheless inspiring (especially to hear as a middle school girl, which is one of life's most difficult phases).

5. Haunted (Speak Now) - Because there's a version with just piano as the background and it's hauntingly (no pun intended) beautiful.
4. Treacherous (Red) - Because I heard this song when I was on the brink of my first relationship, and nothing captures those early butterflies like this song.
3. Style (1989) - Because it's totally different from her early works, and it's so blatantly written about Harry Styles, and Taylor is unashamed to name a song after her ex, and it's so darn catchy.
2. The Last Time (Red) - I might claim that Red is my least favorite Taylor Swift album, but the few songs I do like really resonate with me. The passion and power in this melancholy song make it truly unforgettable, and Gary Lightbody is truly phenomenal.
1. All Too Well (Red) - One of my favorite songs (of all time!?), this song is soft and sad until it builds to its powerful, aching bridge. This is the poetry that makes me love Taylor Swift, people. These lyrics ("You call me up again just to break me like a promise") are what I'm here for.

Of course, as an artist with a repertoire as enormous as Taylor's (at only 25!), it's impossible to pick just ten favorite songs. Other notable tracks include Long Live (which is probably number 11 on my top 10 list), The Other Side of the Door, Invisible, Last Kiss, Dear John, Wildest Dreams, Mary's Song...you get the idea. I could have a top 20 list and still not name all my favorite songs, especially since my musical choices really depend on my mood. Luckily, there's a Taylor Swift song for every occasion!

Would do you think of her new album? Are you a fan of her former country tunes? Do you love her transformation from country princess to pop queen? Are you thrilled that there's now a Taylor Swift song for just about every genre you could think of? I know I am!

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Now that classes are winding down and I have some time to breathe (and maybe even write some more posts! What a concept!), December is going to be the month of "how many overused Christmas lyrics can I recycle into post titles?" I can feel it.

Early in November I caught one of the earliest Christmas commercials on Youtube completely by accident. I was listening to a playlist when suddenly an advertisement came up, and the song was so beautiful I didn't even  realize I was listening to a commercial! Eventually I learned it was the Burberry commercial, "From London With Love," starring the adorable Romeo Beckham. The song accompanies a fantastical winter wonderland filled with stunning ballgowns, beautiful choreography, and of course the classic Burberry scarves. It's such a classy brand with a classy commercial to match, but let me stop talking about Burberry and show you the actual video I'm talking about:

Christmas has unfortunately become a time of commercialism, of course, but a lot of advertisements for merchandise are actually bringing with them a wake-up call about the real values of the holiday season. This iPhone commercial, for instance, always made me tear up when I saw it last year:

How beautiful was that? Am I the only one who gets a little choked up when I watch it? I know a lot of advertising during the holiday season is just directed at getting people to buy products, but it's nice to see a commercial that actually shows the important things about this time of year, like family.

TwentySomething

On Saturday, I turned 20. I celebrated my birthday with my parents, my brother, his girlfriend, and both sets of my grandparents, eating cake and opening gifts. Later at night, I was reunited with my best friend, Joanna, who left for Auburn University in August. I hadn't seen her in nearly four months, and it was wonderful to catch up with her and Catherine, another of my closest friends who I don't hang out with nearly enough.

Two of my best friends from high school, Joanna (middle) and Cat

Being twenty years old feels so much different than being 19! Last year, I was struggling to adjust to college life and was showing the early symptoms of what would turn out to be mono, so turning 19 years old wasn't the most pressing matter on my mind. This year, though, I'm hyperaware of the fact that I'm not a teenager anymore, that I am a real-life adult. But even though it scares me a little to lose that safety net, I'm extremely comfortable about where I am in life and eager to accept whatever challenges come my way this year!

I've comprised a list entitled "20 Before 21," which includes 20 different things I'd like to accomplish before I turn 21. I'm so excited to start crossing things off the list! Some of my goals are just for fun or things I wouldn't do if I didn't give myself a deadline (for instance, I've been meaning to read Paradise Lost for years and just haven't gotten around to it), but some of them involve finding a job or internship, things that will prepare me for the "real world" that will inevitably arrive after college.

Excitingly, I'll be able to cross something off my list - write for CollegeFashion.net! I've read the articles on this website religiously since I was a freshman in high school, and I was honored that they accepted my application and offered me a position as a contributing writer next semester! So far my 20 Before 21 is off to a good start, I'm still enjoying my birthday chocolate-covered strawberries, and 20 in general seems like it's going to be a good year.

Wish List

It is autumn, the excitement of the holidays is in the air, and my twentieth birthday is fast approaching. Fast approaching. As in, before I even know it I’ll be heading home for the weekend to reunite with my hometown friends and celebrate with my family. Unfortunately I’ve been so busy lately I haven’t even had time to think of what I want for my birthday! That being said, below I’ve comprised the ultimate wish list of birthday gift ideas – even if some items on the list are a little unrealistic. Hey, a girl can dream.

photo source; minneonkamoccasin.com

Elizabeth from my favorite blog, Delightfully Tacky, rocks her Minnetonka moccasins in all seasons and can make them work with virtually every outfit. She's got me craving my own pair of Minnetonka Thunderbirds. Moccasins seem to be that perfect transition shoe, because I don't think I own anything between sandals and boots.

photo source; alexandani.com

I'm very in love with my Alex and Ani compass bangle, which I bought on a sort of impulse over the summer but has definitely inspired me to start focusing on my direction in life. Not surprisingly, now that I have one of these bangles, I want more! I'm a little superstitious, so I like jewelry that feels like it has a meaning behind it. While there are lots of beautiful bangles to choose from, I think the Alex and Ani Nautical Charm bangle will remind me of my recently-found love of the beach and also remind me to stay grounded.

photo source; nordstrom.com

Just for the record, I own way too many (3) pairs of brown/tan boots. Cognac is sort of my signature shoe color, and it's taking over my closet. That said, I've never met a Steve Madden creation I didn't like, and these stacked-heel suede booties caught my eye immediately. Aren't they adorable?

photo source, amazon.com

As an English major and a lover of literature, I'm particularly fascinated in the Lost Generation, the American expatriates who made their home in Paris and lamented the disillusionment felt by the era's youth. As you can imagine, when I found this book, I was thrilled. Americans in Paris: A Literary Anthology contains the writings of not just my favorite writers, but Americans from Thomas Jefferson to Jack Kerouac and countless others in between as they describe their Parisian adventures. 

photo source, amazon.com 

Okay, no, I don't yet have the courage to use a camera tripod in public. I still get pretty embarrassed when people see my friend taking pictures of me for my "fashion" posts. But it would be pretty great to be able to take outfit pictures whenever I want, without needing to drag my roommate outside with me. Plus I'd get more use out of the great Nikon camera I got for Christmas last year. 

photo source; Nordstrom.com

Every girl needs a little black dress, and this one from Nordstrom seems to be ideal. It's not too short, tight, or low-cut, but it has a flattering v-neck and cinched waist. Plus, the sleeves are a fun length, and this looks like it can easily be dressed up or down for any occasion.

photo source; tiffany.com

Has anyone seen the beautiful holiday advertisement on the Tiffany website? It's adorable. I've been a Tiffany girl ever since I first caught a glimpse of the brand's iconic blue box, and while I'm personally holding out for a Tiffany engagement ring, these initial necklaces are gorgeous. It's my fantasy wish list, so I can throw a piece of Tiffany jewelry on here, can't I? If you're buying into the materialistic, commercial side of the holiday season, nothing shines as brightly as Tiffany & Co. in New York City during Christmastime. 

My birthday will be here (November 22!) before I know it, but Christmas won't be far behind! What's on your wishlist as the holiday season approaches?